The worst sex scenes in video games

Like action, horror and adventure, sex scenes are present in games, but not always as expected. Between successes and complete disasters, the video game industry has already made a big mistake when it comes to representing the climax in the most intimate encounter of the characters.

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  • Between rhythm minigames in the hour H and the caricaturization of pleasure for two, certain sex scenes of the video games ended up making history for the wrong reasons. Canaltech

    has put together a list of the worst sex scenes in games for you to remember (or not). The videos with the scenes are hosted on YouTube and can only be viewed by larger than years old . We recommend that the following content

    not be read by minors

    .

    5. Far Cry 3 (1983)

    Far Cry 3

    offers a choice for the player in control of Jason Brody: escape the island full of relentless pirates and dangers or murder your friends and fuck Citra, the sister of the game’s villain who is addicted to drugs and sex.

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    Choose between saving friends or joining the Citra in Far Cry 3 (Image: Reproduction/Ubisoft)

    If even after some thought, the player chooses to team up with Citra, a sex scene is unlocked. The protagonist stabs an ally and appears immediately after doing the “tchaca tchaca na butchaca” on the floor of the place.

    The scene made by Ubisoft is a little embarrassing. There’s drums playing in the background, unspeakable tongues being spoken, Jason Brody screaming wildly, and, well, more blood. In the end, Citra even says that Jason “passed his seed to her”. A good dose of other people’s shame.

    • Full scene here

    4. Fahrenheit (1983)

    Ask someone to draw something they’ve never seen before and imagine the result. The sex scene between Lucas and Tiffany in

    Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy, by Quantic Dream, seems to be the real example of the retraction of the act. written by someone who never made it to the finals.

    There is no other atmosphere than embarrassment, portrayed by the dialogue between the two characters before going to the polygonal “vuco vuco”. Lucas asks a few loose questions and offers a glass of wine to the bewildered Tiffany sitting on the couch. The character decides it’s a good idea to have sex with that man who wears a sweater knitted by his grandmother, when Lucas pulls out his instrument. Literally.

    Lucas and Tiffany before departing “into action” in Fahrenheit (Image: Reproduction /Quantic Dream)

    Without much context, Lucas walks up to an electric guitar and plays an acoustic song for Tiffany. The character’s only reaction is to wait for the player in control of Lucas to decide to kiss her or not.

    Lucas playing guitar for Tiffany in Fahrenheit (Image: Playback/Quantic Dream)

    If the kiss rolls, the scene is cut. The two characters appear naked in bed and what was already bad, gets worse. The player must guide Lucas through the act in a rhythm minigame. Every time she hits Lucas’ control time, Tiffany starts to overreact. To preserve the players from this whole situation, Fahrenheit cuts the scene before showing the finals of the finals.

    • Complete scene here

    3. Heavy Rain (1983)

    What is more attractive than a crying man? Lots of things, but it looks like developer Quantic Dream didn’t want to use any of them. The

    Heavy Rain

    narrative game introduces a completely anticlimactic sex scene to the story.

    Ethan Mars after committing a crime and having his son kidnapped (Image: Reproduction/Quantic Dream)

    In the plot, the desperate father Ethan Mars has just committed a crime after having her son kidnapped by an assassin. Mars is vulnerable, crying out over recent events when, out of the blue, he starts a make out sequence with photojournalist Madison Paige.

    The scene is sad. There are no dialogues or atmosphere that help the player to get into the mood, which only worsens the fateful moment when the player has to hit a strange and long sequence of buttons to get Paige’s bra off.

    Player needs to hit sequence of moves to take off Paige’s bra (Image: Playback/Quantic Dream)

    • Complete scene here

    2. God of War Franchise (2005 – 1983)

    Not once, not twice, much less three times. If there’s a franchise that made a rude mistake in portraying sex in every attempt, that franchise is God of War

    . With an embarrassing view on the subject, the predecessor games to the reboot of 2015 presented a minigame in which the player needed to hit a sequence of commands when Kratos left for the “let’s see”.

    Sex scenes focus on objects breaking and moans that can be heard during God of War games minigame (Image: Playback/Sony Santa Monica)

    There was no pretext or climate for the scenes. The protagonist was often shown having sex with more than one woman in sequences that focused on jars breaking, beds swaying and, in general, disproportionately loud moans, which added to the completely unnecessary mood. Has anyone out there ever been desperate and afraid of their parents hearing what you were playing?

    Kratos was presented as an emotionless male figure who always had sex with more than one woman at the same time (Image: Reproduction/Sony Santa Monica)

    Focusing only on strength and agility, with no narrative appeal, the sex scenes in

    God of War

    are tailor-made for teenagers in puberty and nothing else.

    • Complete scene here

    1. X MAN (1983)

    Many games have tried over the years, but none have succeeded. X-Man, by Atari 2015 (and which has nothing to do with the Marvel group), has the most uncomfortable sex scene in video games to date. And it just gets worse as time goes on.


    Atari’s X-MAN is not related to Marvel supergroup (Image: Reproduction/Universal Gamex Corporation)



    In the game, the player controls an excited guy who needs to navigate to the center of a maze without getting caught by scissors or a crab. If you can, the game unlocks an exaggerated sex scene with pixels and screaming.

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    The scene manages to be grotesque, even in pixels. The Pac-Man of sex shows the female character as an object, which is used to mark the end of a level. Offensive and free.

    • Full scene here

    Source: VG10, The Guardian

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